Loving You Through Goodbye
by LOLChanny819
Summary: She had never been his to begin with. And now she wanted to see the world. She wanted to live. And it was his time to let go and let her.


**Disclaimer: well, considering I'm on fanfiction, and not writing a new episode of Sonny with a Chance, I think you know the answer to this question. But, just in case you don't, no, I do not own Sonny with a Chance.**

**Okay, everybody. Now, you know that every single review, alert, or favorite means a lot to me, right. Okay, good. Also, I just updated Glistening Teardrops a couple of days ago, and I'm at 17 chapters now! Woohoo! Anyway, I would also like to recommend that you check out a very amazing Camilla Monet's stories. She's a really nice person, and a very poetic writer. Plus, she writes Channy. (gives face of innocence) You don't want to hurt my feelings by not reading and reviewing her stories, do you? Okay, well, on with the story! **

Loving You Through Goodbye

CPOV

They say that _if you love something, let it go_. Even if it kills you. I remembered that saying quite well, and it ran through my head as I watched her say goodbye to her friends, tears streaming down her cheeks. And, I have to say, I've never felt more alone.

But I'm just a jerk, unlovable. Millions of girls drop at my feet, just wishing I would love them. But that's not how it works. Because the one girl I love, she doesn't love me _b a c k_.

I stand there, watching her from a corner, never going over to say goodbye. If I do, I know I'll cry, and Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't cry. Besides, she hates me. Why would she care if I missed her or not, or if I wanted to say goodbye or not? She wouldn't.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees me there, and gives a slight wave. I feel tears welling in my eyes, but I just give a half wave and a sad smile. She frowns, and says something to her cast. They nod, and she slowly makes her way over to me. "Chad," she whispers.

In her eyes, I see how happy she is, and I see how much other people's sadness kills her. So I mumble, "Sonny," but it comes out choked, and I feel tears pooling over. I knew, when I first met her, that a girl like her was going places, and that I shouldn't get too close. But I couldn't help it. She was like a magnet, and I was drawn to her pull. Without realizing it, she had me and everyone else wrapped around her little finger.

She sighs shakily and hugs me, muttering, "I'll miss you," and I can hear that she's crying. I am too, but she can't know that. She was so excited when she found out that she was going to shoot a movie in Spain, and I couldn't bring her down. She said she was coming back in seven months, but I know that that's not true. I think we all do. When Hollywood sweeps you up to bigger and better things, you go. And you get so caught up that you forget who you used to be. You get signed for more and more roles, and soon, you forget. A year from now she won't even remember the name Chad Dylan Cooper. But I can't let her know that either.

I definitely can't let her know how much this kills me. So I murmur, "I'll miss you too, Monroe," and leave it at that. But she feels my pain anyway, just like I knew she would. She always knows what I can't say. Well, almost always. I just wish she knew the most important thing I couldn't say. I can't say I love her.

She pulls away, and sees the pain in my eyes. She sighs shakily, and begins to whisper to me. "I'll be back, Chad. Seven months." But to me it feels like a lifetime. That's because it probably will be.

I hug her close again, and choke out, "I know, Sonny. Trust me, I know." Because what else am I supposed to say? How can I tell her that she won't come back? How can I tell her that we'll never see each other again, that I'll never be able to say 'fine' or 'good' again without breaking down? How can she understand that I'll cry myself to sleep tonight, because, with her, she took a piece of me, too? She can't know.

Suddenly her mom enters the building, and Sonny breaks away. She looks me in the eyes. "Goodbye, Chad."

I smile sadly at her. "Goodbye, Sonny." _I love you._ That's one of the other many things she can't know. And it kills me.

She turns to her friends again, turning her back on me, never seeing how much that hurts me, and new tears roll down her cheeks. Mine never stopped. With one last breath, she whispers, "I'll miss you guys. I love you," and walks away.

I see her car pull away, and shiver, suddenly cold. I know I'll never see her beautiful smile again, her bubbling laughter, her big brown eyes that just make me melt. _Because an angel like that isn't meant for a jerk like me._ And that thought is too much to bear. So I go to my house and, just like I knew I would, cry myself to sleep.

For the next seven months, I desperately wish that she was coming back. But I know she won't _ever_ come back. I hear about her on the news, read about her in Tween Weekly. Then, one day, the news we've all been waiting for makes itself known. There, on page 54 of Tween Weekly, in big print, it says that she was offered a new movie role, and this time, in France. That's the moment my world shattered, and I broke down crying, right there in the Commissary. People knew I was gone, but they didn't know how far gone I really was. Later on, I find out that _this_ shoot lasts _nine_ months, with no breaks. The Randoms aren't the same either.

Two days later, I'm sitting on the front steps of Condor Studios, the breeze ruffling my hair, the sun shining down on me in just the right angle. Sounds perfect, right? Like a scene from a movie. Except it's not. Because if you look closer, you'll se the permanent bags under my eyes cause by nightmares every single night. And you see that my eyes are bloodshot form lack of sleep. And you see tear streaks etched into my face, because I'm almost always crying.

My eyes don't even sparkle anymore. They're lifeless, and no one knows what to do about it. The Randoms aren't even remotely this bad, though I can't understand why. Sony was, well Sonny was an angel. You can't forget your angel. But maybe that was just the way _I _saw her.

That thought leaves my head quickly, because if you look close enough, Tawni's eyes are dull, her nails chipped. Nico and Grady haven't touched their game chair since she left. And Zora spends all her time in the vents. I don't even make fun of them anymore. What's the point?

It was in this state of mind that I saw it. A car made its way down the lot, and a girl with gorgeous brown locks stepped out. Her eyes shine with excitement, her smile wider than I ever could have imagined. The sun bounces off of her curls, and I see that her hair is its natural color again. Good. That was always my favorite. She was perfect naturally.

I can't believe my eyes as she walks over to me, smiling. That same saying _If you love something, let it go_ runs through my head once again. But then I remember the other part to it. As she wraps her arms around me, I whisper the other part, feeling like everything is okay again. I whisper into her ear, "If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with." She looks at me, eyes wide, knowing the first part. "You came back, Sonny," I whisper.

She nods and shyly smiles at me. I grin, and she sees the tear stains that I'd almost forgotten about. She traces them with her thumb, wiping away fresh ones. But now she's crying. "Chad, I missed you so much! More than I ever thought I would."

I wrap her into my arms, and feel her relax into my warm embrace. "If you love something, set it free," I whisper. "I love you, Sonny. I'm glad you're back."

She wipes away her tears, beaming at me in a way that only she can. "I love you too, Chad." I laugh and pick her up, spinning her around. She laughs too, and it's like music to my ears, no matter how cheesy that sounds.

I smile and kiss her. Suddenly, the world seems a little bit brighter, the birds chirping, the sun shining still perfectly. But now it has a reason to shine. This time, the Sonshine was back. And in her eyes, I saw that this time, she was here to stay.

**Yes, I'm aware that this was really cheesy, but I also don't think there are many stories like this, with Sonny leaving to film a movie. Who knows. Anyway, this was really emotional for me, but I'm satisfied. You know, I'm positive you'll want to tell me what you think. *puts back on face of innocence* Right? SMILES!**

**LOL**


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